doggedly | a very magical inbox! pt II

[Not really. Now she feels like she was overreacting, not even sure why it was a big deal in the first place.]

Your jokes are bad.

did i ever tell you about the death of the rarey

No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me now.

not if you dont want me to

but

if yous ay you dont want me to
then youll never hear the story
youll be kept awake at night wondering what it was
wondering how different your life would have been if youd just heard the story

so you want me to tell you yeah?

I don't even know what a rarey is.

neither did i honestly
not until i met one

it was the start of summer
term had just ended
i was in diagon alley minding my own business
& i came across this creature standing in the gutter being rained on
shivering & miserable with its tiny teeth chattering
it was quite small you see & quite hairy with these big sad eyes

& because ive got a soft heart & often feel sorry for hairy things with sad eyes
(ex.: remus lupin)
i naturally picked it up & carried it home with me
tucked it in my jacket so it could dry off
about halfway there it sort of maneuvered itself around & spoke to me in this great deep voice which was somehwat surprising for its small size
'thank you sir' it said
it didnt have a name it told me just a type
a species
it was called a rarey

This doesn't sound like a joke.

i know

so i let the rarey live in my flat with me which was great
for about half a day
second half of the day i come into the kitchen and its grown nearly twice its size
go out for a bit come home
ten times its size

which really wasnt so bad cos the rarey was quite small to begin with
but as the week went on it got to be bad
cos the rarey just kept on growing larger
& larger & larger & larger
& by the way it was eating everything i had
learnt to open the cupboard & ate it all
ate my takeaway
came home one day & it had eaten my bloody sofa
& it was growing all the time
had to move it out of the kitchen but it got too large for the parlor
& STILL EATING

oh it was very sorry & apologised a lot
told me it just couldnt help itself
but it was still getitng to be a bit much

took it out to the square & put it on the patch of grass in the roundabout
did a concealing charm on it so the muggles wouldnt see
but it KEPT EATING ate up the grass & the tree that was there
benches & iron railings & rubbish bin
& my flats not in any posh area right but muggles were starting to notice
asking why the grass had died off asking where the bench had gone
& me the only one able to see the poor old rarey
whcih was asbolusltey MAMMOTH by now
chewing away at paper sacks that would blow by & apologising everytime it saw me

i had to do something

So you killed it.

what

merlin
no

youd have killed it ?

[Probably.]

You said the story was the death of the rarey.

yeah DEATH OF
that doesnt mean i cut its throat in the square

Then how did you stop it?

[Wait.]

Did it even have a throat?

well it could talk couldnt it
so of course it had a throat

thats anatomy

[says the wizard who knows nothing about anatomy]

But could you see it? I was thinking it was like a big hairy ball.

well yes sort of
so no it couldnt be seen
but i knew it was there

it was talking it had to have a throat
stands to reason

But it would have been hard to cut it.

yeah sppose so
which would also contribute to me not actually having killed it

i think ive forgotten where i was

You had to do something. That wasn't killing it.

[And she's almost immediately questioning why she's helping him get back on track.]

oh yeah

thanks

right SO

in the dead of night i went out & cast a disillusionment charm on the rarey
so i could transport it in secret
& i rented this masssssssssssive loreey

[squinting at that but man he can't be arsed to spell regular words correctly let alone muggle words so, whatever]

& i loaded the rarey onto the back of it & drove him out of the city
we drove & drove & drove & drove
we drove until there were no other cars on the road
just me & the rarey
it was rather quiet the whole time didnt really say much even when i tried to make conversation
& the whole time i knew
i was going to have to do something

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