[He laughs, at her dismissal--stupid stuff, how wounding--and he fumbles to clap at least one hand over his heart, struck right down to the core over that one.]
That's not very nice--and here I thought we were meant to be friends, not-- backstabbing, ins... [Wwwwwait okay she's talking, and he tries to put those words together in some way that makes sense, in a revengey context...] What, like-- waffles, that-- No?
It's... a condition? A woman one. Certain specific areas look... blue, I guess, and... [ words are failing her. it's that kind of bad. ]
God, I don't know, can't you just - [ she extends a hand just a little to mime swishing a wand, putting on a terrible drunken british accent. ] Accio blue waffle! And then, like, take a good look at whatever flies in that door. [ a beat in which her hand drops and her nose scrunches thoughtfully. ] Or I guess whatever runs into the door like 'let me iiiin' except, like, squishy and wet.
[None of these words are making sense together and for once Sirius thinks it's probably not a drunk issue, an American English versus English English issue, or a wizard-to-muggle translation issue. Right? It can't be. What the hell is she-- what could that-- woman and specific areas and blue and squishy and wet and Sirius look of confusion is very, very quickly becoming a look of abject horror.]
Make-- what pro-- what? [sweet merlin's tits] Are you saying-- blue?
[ she can't help it - between the look on his face and his stammering disbelief, sally busts up laughing now, her head dropping back against his shoulder. once she has that back under control (which is difficult, she's biting her lip a little to keep from cracking up again), her head rolls to one side so she can look at him. ]
God, don't look so traumatized. It's not like it's your vag.
Merlin, no, but-- that's awful. That can't be real. That's not real, is it?
[because, whAT the FUCk. He stares into the middle distance, still momentarily transfixed in horror. Even when he shakes his head again, briskly, it does nothing to dislodge the image that he never wanted nor asked for. Merlin's beard.]
Please tell me you're having me on. Or, better yet, tell me you can do just enough magic to wipe that memory out of my head. Sally. Please.
Oh, it's totally real. Josh and Aidan, they worked at a hospital, right? I haunted the crap out of both of them, when I was dead and all that. Let me tell you, I've seen some shit. Real shit. 100% genuine.
[ she feels like she's telling a kid that santa doesn't exist. or like, that he exists but he shows up to rip off your balls and eat them raw with a side salad of your parents' intestines. ]
[no but girl parts are supposed to be nice why this why horror why this
a few moments more of silent horror, as he tries to add all of this new knowledge into his understanding of the world. It isn't easy. And people think wizards are mad. At least they haven't got to worry about blue bits, all--
[It comes out a little flat, because she's got her hand on his eyes and a bit of said hand is pressing against his nose, just a bit--but he makes no move to correct it. He might actually be grateful.]
I'm going to have nightmares. Bloody awful nightmares, of-- [nooooope nope nope nope doesn't bear thinking about or talking about, nope--] Merlin.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
uses this icon just 4 u as reward for blue waffle discussion rp
[He laughs, at her dismissal--stupid stuff, how wounding--and he fumbles to clap at least one hand over his heart, struck right down to the core over that one.]
That's not very nice--and here I thought we were meant to be friends, not-- backstabbing, ins... [Wwwwwait okay she's talking, and he tries to put those words together in some way that makes sense, in a revengey context...] What, like-- waffles, that-- No?
that fuckin hair
It's... a condition? A woman one. Certain specific areas look... blue, I guess, and... [ words are failing her. it's that kind of bad. ]
God, I don't know, can't you just - [ she extends a hand just a little to mime swishing a wand, putting on a terrible drunken british accent. ] Accio blue waffle! And then, like, take a good look at whatever flies in that door. [ a beat in which her hand drops and her nose scrunches thoughtfully. ] Or I guess whatever runs into the door like 'let me iiiin' except, like, squishy and wet.
[ ...
............ ]
Or we could just make it prolapse.
8]
happening]
What?
[None of these words are making sense together and for once Sirius thinks it's probably not a drunk issue, an American English versus English English issue, or a wizard-to-muggle translation issue. Right? It can't be. What the hell is she-- what could that-- woman and specific areas and blue and squishy and wet and Sirius look of confusion is very, very quickly becoming a look of abject horror.]
Make-- what pro-- what? [sweet merlin's tits] Are you saying-- blue?
[No wait--]
You're having me on.
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God, don't look so traumatized. It's not like it's your vag.
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[because, whAT the FUCk. He stares into the middle distance, still momentarily transfixed in horror. Even when he shakes his head again, briskly, it does nothing to dislodge the image that he never wanted nor asked for. Merlin's beard.]
Please tell me you're having me on. Or, better yet, tell me you can do just enough magic to wipe that memory out of my head. Sally. Please.
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[ she feels like she's telling a kid that santa doesn't exist. or like, that he exists but he shows up to rip off your balls and eat them raw with a side salad of your parents' intestines. ]
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why horror
why this
a few moments more of silent horror, as he tries to add all of this new knowledge into his understanding of the world. It isn't easy. And people think wizards are mad. At least they haven't got to worry about blue bits, all--
eurgh
but um]
Why did you go and look?
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[ she lifts a hand up to cover his eyes now. sally's not actually sure why. maybe to help him look away from the prolapsed blue vag. ]
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[It comes out a little flat, because she's got her hand on his eyes and a bit of said hand is pressing against his nose, just a bit--but he makes no move to correct it. He might actually be grateful.]
I'm going to have nightmares. Bloody awful nightmares, of-- [nooooope nope nope nope doesn't bear thinking about or talking about, nope--] Merlin.
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[--says Sirius, and shuts his eyes.]
I'm-- not drunk enough for this.
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[And there's an easy remedy to that, and that's drink more, only...
Only.]
Have you got the bottle?